Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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