You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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