ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
