I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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