Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Randomize
