did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
