she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
