champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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