Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
