between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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