New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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