3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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