Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
