Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
