so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize