I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
