i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
