I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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