between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
