can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
