So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
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He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
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It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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