Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
