And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
