I swear she didn't look like that last week.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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