hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
