eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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