as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
