Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize