oh god the rape fog is back!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
