Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
