My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
