Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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