the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize