somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
