You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
