Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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