We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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