never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
