Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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