I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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