You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
