Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize