Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize