Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Screwed.edu
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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