I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
