ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
