I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
