So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
