i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
