Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
