i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize