Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Two words: blizzard sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
