He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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