I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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