Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize