I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious