Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.