he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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