I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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