try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
